I’m uncomfortably reminded of the invisible pink unicorn logic, when it comes to something being believed valid simply because it can’t be disproved. But yes, I do feel that based on my own trust in the bond we shared/share. After all I don’t feel true love and care (of any kind) can be erased so easily… it can endure much more than this. Today it’s one month since we had that argument. I hope I can write something nice sincere and send it to her, conveying honestly how much she means to me. At least that’s something in my hand to an extent.

Yes I’m trying my best for that – to become someone I myself can respect. That’s one thing I surely still don’t feel as I look at myself in the mirror. I still can see only my faults, shortcomings and bad deeds. No wonder there’s anger and frustration welling up somewhere inside… simply because I am me. I doubt I’d have felt so insecure and jealous had it not been for that. Qualifying this exam and striving for freedom is the first step in overcoming this.