Dea4r xaas:

A second way easier post to follow, thank you!

Regarding the child abuse web site post you read, about sending your message out as a way to feel relief, not so to get an answer, that will be fine. You can do that. Just let me know/ let the readers know you don’t want answers, suggestions, feedback, that you only want to send the message. I will definitely respect your request/ assertion.

If you do want input, my input, I will need you to be as clear as you have been in this last post and in the last post on the other thread. After all, you are capable of being this clear.

Our thoughts, they should serve us. We shouldn’t let them lead us, be in charge of us. They are tools not our masters. So clarity of thinking and communication is a good thing (except if you do a free-association exercise)

I am getting your point about not telling your mother about the teacher’s abuse. Feeling so ashamed, believing so strongly that the abuse was justified that you want to hide your (falsely) perceived wrong doing, not the act of abuse.

After all, if you believe you were in the wrong, than you don’t see the abuse as abuse but as a … natural consequence of your guilt.

I suppose if you had a good relationship with your mother, if she taught you what behaviors are acceptable from teachers/ strangers/ … your father, then you might have gone to her and told. I don’t think you had guidance as to what behaviors are acceptable and what are not.

anita