Dear Xaas:

I read your last post for the first time just now and I know I need to read it again. It is very meaningful to me, lots in it. it makes me sad. I think I share your sadness that these people, parents, had this wonderful, innocent child in their power, all loving, and instead of raising that child to be a strong, loving adult, they proceeded to destroy it. What is the use of that? Beyond the temporary relief, the “fix” that the abuser experiences, there is no long term benefit. They would have benefited long term if they inflicted no abuse.

And yet, this very dynamic, of people inflicting harm and damage and in so doing they destroy their chances for well being, this dynamic is the reason why many millions of people are suffering all over the world.

All you can do it leave the people who abused you behind; leave behind the people who chose to abuse you and those who chose to not protect you. And move forward. As you do, you choose who you associate with and who you do not associate with.

There is pain, lots of pain yet to come. Some of it is necessary as we all get sick at times and we all die. Lots of pain is unnecessary, such as staying in an abusive relationship. Some of the pain will diminish as we heal, over time, with lots of patience .. and hard work… and time, did I mention lots of time?

This realization you expressed above is not a one-time-solution, all clear, simple easy and well From Now On.

Healing is a long process. Many start and abandon it because often enough in the process, there is pain. And then you wonder: why am I doing this if I feel so much pain?

This is where people often abandon The Healing Path, as I call it.

anita