Dear dreaming715:

Well, if you’d like, let’s look at the grandiose things men said before disappearing, quotes from your original post on this thread (Following *s, i will suggest what you could tell the man assuming the man is manipulative):

1. “I feel really good about where things could go for us!” I don’t like this statement, because “I feel really good” would be enough. “where things could go for us” sound manipulative, designed to create hope in you. It is almost A Line in early interactions used often, I think, it sounds so familiar…

* I would ask him right there and then: Where do you thing things could go for us? Listen to the answer. (Don’t feel sorry for him if he stumbles with his words and feels embarrassed, caught in his own trap)

2. “Is it weird to say that I already really like you?” – “weird to say”- so he already knows it is weird to “really like” someone so soon. Hmmm…

* I would ask him right there and then: Why is it weird to you? (re-direct his answer as he stumbles with his words)

3. “You’re so beautiful.” He means physically? Too early to make that judgment call regarding inner beauty, unless he is talking about everyone being beautiful deep inside and not talking specifically about you.

* i would ask: What beauty do you see in me? Listen carefully to the answer…

4. “I’m not currently seeing anyone else.” If he says it on the first date, and using “anyone Else” it sounds like he is already seeing you, already dating you. If you met him through an online dating site, does this mean he is not communicating with other women through his dating profile? Or he decided not to meet the women he communicates with online and decided to make an exception for you..?

* I would ask him: Did you delete your dating profile (on the site) since we communicated? (No)-
Am I the only woman you communicate with on the site?
Are you not meeting other women from the site?

So, Critical listening skills and asking questions can solve this problem.

What do you think?

anita