Dear crocus:

The poor guy has an overactive Superego (Freudian term) stuck in his head, another term for it is “Inner Critic”, an abusive inner critic that is criticizing him all day long. When you took the trash at 8 pm, his inner critic said to him: You should have taken the trash, you idiot! Only he projected the inner critic into you, so he was thinking something like: “Crocus is thinking: you idiot, you should have taken the trash!”

He inaccurately projects his inner critic into you and into others.

It is not his fault. It is not a result of him not being spiritual or buddhist enough. It is a result of the fact that he must have had a very critical parent/s and he naturally internalized that parent/s as the voice in his head that keeps the harsh and excessive criticism going and going.

There are ways to heal from a toxic inner critic. First it needs to be recognized, the projections identified and reality examined. For example, he could ask you: when you took the trash out at 8, were you trying to tell me I should have taken it out myself already?

And you would answer: no, I was simply on my way out, wasn’t thinking what you thought I was thinking.

Through honest and trustworthy communication with you, he can identify, question and challenge his inner critic.

What do you think?

anita