It is true that I have never been empathetic to myself, I would rather repress my emotions and tell myself off for having issues. And then I would be unhappy and unsatisfied with my life, I was until last year. I guess it comes from the social stigma that you shoud not talk about your problems, although everyone faces problems and the best to do is focus on the solution, rather than worsening the problem by trying to repress it.

I have been working on myself a lot, and I really feel like I am starting to accept myself, I must say I started being happy last year, even through my really hard times as I was finally moving on and solving all the underlying issues that came from my childhood/ family.

I do recall myself every now and then that I should be the one supporting myself, and that I am strong enough for that but the fact that other people like my sister are not necessarily moving at the same pace slows me down a little. I genuinely feel like I have been the one who’s finally been able to put an end to my family’s masquerade, although my father has been guiding me through all along.

I still feel more lucid than most people in my family, more than everyone but my aunt who has had to take care of her parents’s heritage and my grandparents’s too. Sometimes I am, to some extent, so much more emotionally responsible and mature than anyone in my family.