Hi there,
I walked a similar path. Also with medications, and gurus, therapists, I even tried hypnotherapy (I must say, that helped a little, don’t know why I stopped) What works for me at the moment is to catch myself out when I feel the downward spiral coming. You always have a choice: get bitter or get better. Depression is in my family and I see the signs in my daughter as well. I have done a lot of reading on the subject, because I want to get better, I don’t want to be like my mother! So when I see my daughter is spiralling down into that big dark whole, I stop her, and bring her back to the moment. For example I will say: “Why are you feeling sad?” she will reply:”because of something teacher said at school” then I will say:” is teacher here now? In this room?” and she will say: “No” then me: ” so teacher only has power to upset you, in your head, and it is YOUR head, so why give her power, if she probably long forgotten the incident?” This works wonders, because as soon as we are all back in the moment, we realise our power over our thoughts. And the claws of depression seems to loose it’s grip. It is a very empowered feeling. It is harder thought to do it with myself, so, to bring myself back to the moment, I start writing downs things that I am TRUELY thankful for or I listen to sounds around me, I try to feel the wind and smell the air, all to get me back to NOW. As soon as I can get my thoughts out of the PAST and out of the FUTURE, and back to now, I gain control again. That is why you get adrenaline junkies, you can not feel depressed while doing a bungee jump! You are 100% in that moment. I hope that helps a little.