Hi Anita,

Wow, i just have to express my Wow, how is it through a civilized discussion, we can understand each other, we can both just calmly woke towards each other, and finally stand on a common ground, where we see, feel, hear, and understand each other more clearly. You saying above that you were insane, and that you path to healing is through sanity, but how could you, if you did not realize you are insane, you embrace you insanity, you asking your self these three questions, what am doing? how am I doing it? and why am doing it? these three simple questions what, how, and why! This is what i call embracing your insanity in order to stay insane. but if one did not, where he would have been now?

SO now you are asking, why are we sane people living in this insane world, simply cause we did not share our insanity, we did not share our journey from insanity to sanity, we did not express our insanity, we did not share the experience of over coming it, and we just shared the sanity we are living in now, and where is the lesson here, you are like telling a kid that you have to walk, in a world where no one is walking, and every one is using a wheel chair, he had never seen one person walking!?

you do not celebrate your insanity, you celebrate your sanity through expressing your insanity, let me try to explain through this example, when you are mostly happy for having a high grade in an exam, you celebrate it when it is the first time, when you used to get bad grades in it, and if you are just used to get the same high grade each month, it will be meaningless to celebrate a high grade if you get the same grade each month, it will be just as normal as you get used of having bad grades. you celebrate the new accomplishments not the one you are already doing, and you celebrate keeping that accomplishment for long, and not celebrate the same accomplishment each time you have it done!?

I do not pride myself for being out of the ordinary, i pride my self for the feeds i get back when am being out of the ordinary, let me tell you this situation that i have just experienced yesterday, the club am a member in, have just experience on of the greatest improvement eras in its 70 years life long, 20 years ago, this club had only 10% or less of its land with construction, no play grounds, no stadiums, nothing, the reaming 90% of it was like the savanna, and literally there were more than 300 sheep hearing there, then came this man, and when he laid the whole plan for the club, and every body saw it huge billboard showing all the construction that are existing now, they just said he is a crazy man, they called him insane, they called the head of chair-board they elected mad. couple of months ago, i was just wondering how could we preserve that great improvements, that great accomplishment, it is just on the peak, and if we do not realize it, we will start deteriorating, I was wondering, what do we need, do we need change? and i just had this idea in my mind, what is this man just walk through the club like a normal man and listen to others, the ideas of the club members, only if he can do the effort. and just yesterday it happened, i was in the library reading, for the second time in my life in entered this library, and i saw him coming in, surrounded with the members of the club managements, i went for him with this mad comment, with the most insane thing my mind came up with, and for sure i hesitated, but i asked my self, for what cause it is, when i realized it was for good, i just went to him, shacked his hand an literally told him this, “you proved me wrong, I thought you were not walking through the club, you just proved me wrong”.

and when i was just attempting to walk away, he called for me after walking a couple of steps, saying i want you to tell me what are your suggestion for improving the library, I just felt overwhelmed, but i summed my courage to go back, and stood among them, and i really had no good idea, it was just my second time, and my only good idea was to buy newer round shaped carpet, and make it complete so walking would not be mush noisy. and just before he left, he held my hand, and he whispered bis privet mobile phone number in ears, the number that the club management does not have, and he asked him to call him if i have any suggestion.

what happened next was not that exiting or unexpected any more, people were asking what did i tell him, to grab his attention just by saying these words that took less than half a minute, they asked for my phone number, they asked for me to visits them in their offices, they asked me write my suggestion and present it to them formally, and all of that was the outcome of an mad, insane, but true and deep moment!

you cannot imagine how you put me at ease when you explained, sanity as light and insanity as dark, we talked about light and dark before, and i just had to mention this to you some day, some thing i missed that is truly crucial for life, that without darkness there would not have been light, and vise versa, both are bliss, and both can be abused, misused, we need light so we can work and live, we need dark so we can sleep and rest, we need both, but only us can have the balance between, can reach that point of equilibrium!

My dear, no one needs insanity, no one wants insanity, insanity is within us, and we are only sane when we can express our insanity, we can only keep our sanity if we can define our insanity, understand it, and trough it we become the most sane, even if others tell us we are sane, we can only show them were we came from, how far had our journey been, then they will see it no more as insanity, they will see it as an reachable goal!

Cya,
Ziad