Thanks anita! I definitely thought about what you said about trying “type” people and I was afraid of coming across that way or actually being guilty of that. I brought up attachment styles a lot because it helps me clarify what sort of beliefs and behaviors I typically have and of those I’m afraid to be in a relationship with. It’s sort of a shorthand, but I can see it getting a little out of hand if I let it guide my decisions.

However, I hadn’t felt that deep gut fear in a while and it was so unwelcome that I just want to run away from it and protect myself. It reminded me of the hurt I felt in my last relationship and the feeling that I wasn’t important enough to keep around. I am obviously still not healed from those past hurts and am still trying to make sense of what happened, but I feel the strength under my fear now as well, so it’s not all in vain.

He has done nothing wrong, I’m just trying to get people to forecast the future for me 😉 I am wide open for learning!