dear big glasses, this is a lot…

I have grown up in a physically and emotionally unsafe environment, and suffered a lot from many things that were not addressed, so I know, as Anita said, and you know it as well, it’s not good if you project your experiences onto your children. You need help, coming here on this website is really good, but I think it might really be a good idea to have a mediator type of person between you and your husband to discuss what is the best and most respectful way for everyone to move forward and regain a peaceful heart. It sounds like you have made a conscious choice to not live in the UK and so you need a plan to be able to live peacefully wherever it is that you are right now. I think its a good idea to sit down with your husband and talk about how to move forward, just ask him. Something needs to change and you need to get your power back..