Dear sandra2012:

I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time! Can you get into emergency counseling of some kind? Maybe the people involved in the case can help you see a psychotherapist as soon as possible?

Otherwise there are resources you can google for therapy, even free therapy?

On the long run, I think competent psychotherapy is the way for you to start your healing process. What you need, self acceptance, you needed to get from your parents. You didn’t. Next best thing is to receive the empathy you need, the validation, understanding from a competent, caring psychotherapist, within the relationship with such a professional.

You need to take care of yourself. Calm down, take a hot bath… if looking in the mirror distresses you- don’t.

Think of yourself, please, as a hurt little girl and you: the mother. Take her hand and do what is right for her: take care of her. Talk to her as if she was a little girl looking up to you with those hurt, scared eyes.

In reality, this little girl is you. Be a good mother to her. Please!

anita