Dear Brav3:

Welcome back! Excellent thread, your original posts (2) – excellent. But like you wrote last, sometimes you fall flat.

Last month (the other thread) you wrote: ” I actually vowed that I will not put my self esteem in jeopardy again by ignoring my wants and my needs so to be in a relationship. I also promised that I continue to stand up for myself and will take full responsibility for my well being.” And you have. Please continue.

When you have the “if I..” thoughts, consider them like an itch in the brain, if you can, and as hard as it will be, don’t scratch that itching by ruminating. Distract.

And when you fall flat otherwise, take a hot bath (do men take hot baths?) or listen to relaxing music or call it a day and look forward to the next day, hoping it will be better.

anita