You are right, Anita. I’m not a romantic person myself (in fact I always disliked the romantic portions of films and books) and I never expected that I will ever feel this way for any girl. Moreover you know that the word romance is stereotypically associated with things like physical intimacy, kissing, flirting and all now… and in a culture like ours, it’s taboo numero uno among conservative people. Even a few of my other friends said they’ll break relations with anyone who loves them romantically. That’s why I kept telling myself that my increasing affection for her was just brotherly in nature, when somewhere inside I knew that it wasn’t so. She and her sister accuse me of “changing relations” when in fact I never said anything at all to her, though I admit I stopped calling her sis (for a different reason initially) and wasn’t able to conceal my affection well.

I know that the future is bleak. But I don’t know how I can ask her father for her hand in marriage without her consent. I don’t wish to force anything upon her. Moreover by the time I’m good enough to do that, she may be in love with someone else or her parents may arrange her marriage with someone. She did hint to me that she’s okay with being together again if we have a platonic bond again, but she doesn’t trust me to get rid of my feelings. I just wish to be with her again… if it means suppressing of my feelings for now, so be it. I’ll never speak of them to her again and if worst comes to worst, I’ll suppress the pain and live with being a second rate brother and seeing her married to someone else. I just don’t wish to lose her. She can never realize fully what she means to me.

Regarding the love… I am reminded of a heart-wrenching scene from Harry Potter where Dumbledore tells him that the pain of losing a loved one is what proves that we’re actually human. And Harry yells, “then I don’t want to be human”. I won’t ever love anybody again, if I lose her. The pain and torture is beyond what I can bear.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by ravi_zimmerfan.