Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply.

I appreciate everyone’s responses. What triggers my guilt is that I feel responsible for his happiness. I sometimes worry about his mental health, he has told me before that he can’t live without me and I just don’t know how he would cope if I wasn’t in his life anymore. I feel like he relies on me heavily to be his support system when he feels like he needs me, at other times its like I dont exist. I feel that by leaving him that I will ruin his future although I feel the future we have together is a miserable one. We used to just enjoy each others company but now our interests are polar opposites – I dont mind having different interests but its like we have lost interest in each others lives. He is like talking to a brick wall, he forgets everything I tell him, he has no idea what my work schedule is, he FORGOT that my grandfather passed away a couple of years ago. It makes me feel like I am not important enough for him to remember that I am here and whats going on in my world.

A couple of weeks ago it was his birthday and I tried to organise a get together with our friends on the Sunday as I was working on the Saturday. He decided that he didnt want to do anything so I had to msg everyone and cancel. He then ended up organising a get together himself with all his friends on the Saturday while I was at work and couldnt go. That really hurt me.

Matty you put it perfectly, in that along with the loss of the relationship I am losing the sense of identity I have had for 11 years as his partner and wife. I do feel in a way that by leaving this marriage that I have failed. I committed to a marriage and I failed to make it work even though I know it took both of us to make it fail.