Dear tabenda:

If your friendship with him is hurting you by feeding your morning to night rumination involving him, it is time to re-evaluate this friendship, decide to maybe give it a limited time break, a week to start with and see how that feels, or otherwise discuss the new friendship, give it a definition, defining limits. I understand the rational of: I lost so many friends, I don’t want to lose him as a friend, but this rational is not reasonable if this friendship is ineffective for you, if it harms your well being.

Same with all the hiking groups, if reading there about him is feeding your rumination, give them all a break as well as connect to … another group, if you need to, one where he is not part of, and neither is she.

anita