Dear ksolano88:

As to your last question: “..am I the bad person?” I think you are asking it in relation to your boyfriend: am I a bad person to my boyfriend?

It is very sad for me that you are asking if you are bad to your boyfriend and NOT: am I bad to my baby?

So very sad. You already have high blood pressure and adrenaline/ other chemicals due to your distress with him are circulating through your blood, not unlikely, harming your baby before he/ she is even born. And yet, you are considering staying in the U.S. with your boyfriend so … to make sure that your baby will be harmed?

I am sure you are not thinking these words, but if you stay with him you will be acting in accordance with a thought that goes something like this: my baby may be harmed by my chemical distress so far because of the abuse and distress in this relationship. So maybe I should stay with this man so that my baby will continue to be damaged by what the baby will be seeing and hearing and experiencing after his birth.

So I think the question should be: am I being a bad person to my baby by leaving this man?

You feel badly to see your boyfriend hurting, suffering the consequences of his own choices to abuse and mistreat you. Will you protect him from the natural consequences of his own actions, sacrificing the health of an innocent new arrival to life, or… will you do the right thing?

If you return to Canada, please attend good psychotherapy so to heal from injuries you suffered in your life that lead you to accept this situation you are in and make a good, safe, loving home for your baby.

Please post again.

anita