Hello,

I am sure that you are wonderful person caught up in very bad circumstances. Your bad mental and physical health are normal human reaction to very abnormal circumstances, and I hope that they won’t be damaging for your baby. I feel that you are more than aware that you have to leave the country and your boyfriend and I am sure that now it is just a matter of time till you get the strength to make that step.

A friend of mine was abandoned during her pregnancy by her fiancee with no explanation, and he wasn’t abusive, or anything but nice to her by that moment. She constantly blamed herself and went through hell because of this, which resulted with very risky pregnancy and her son being born prematurely. During that point she just kept thinking about her unfortunate situation. But once the baby was born, she forgot everything. Her baby’s smile gave her enough strength to go through every bad thing that happened. She kept repeating ‘I wish I had this perspective on things before’.

In two months the biggest love of your life will be born. There is no such thing on the planet that can be measured with the love of a mother to her baby. Everything else falls behind… So think of your unborn baby’s smile through these hard times, on the fact that you need to save that creature from potentially abusive environment… And i am sure that your baby will save you too, if nothing else, this whole mess now will become less important.

Love yourself, and love your baby before you let the love for your boyfriend hurt you any further. I wish you the best of luck!