Thank You Inky.

After writing the original post, some things that happened in the big row that split us up six weeks ago have come back to me. She said things like:

‘You have no witnesses here’
‘You abused our son’ (this accusation literally made me want to cry)
‘I will be coming after the highest maintenance amount possible’
‘You are financially the meanest person I’ve ever met’ (I had handed over a lot of money, when I confided in others how much, they were shocked).

It is 6 weeks since we parted & I am staying with relatives, so getting my own accommodation sorted out soon, will be a priority.

I tried to bring up her mood & views on life as far back as 2010 and she wouldn’t hear of it. I remember asking her if she was depressed, was there something I could help her with and if I made her unhappy and her reply to all three was no. I recall being so confused and disappointed driving away from her house one day, that she refused to think anything may be up or need help and then receiving an SMS from her asking if I wanted to go out that night. I was able to accept that behaviour then, but now there is a little boy who is depending on both of us and I don’t have any faith in her at all. As an example, when he was 18 months, he was in my care and started becoming very hot. I took him to the doctor, they checked him out and said he was ok, but when she heard, she hit the roof. She said I should have phoned her first. Maybe so, but given how far away I lived, my first priority was him and I made no apology for having him seen to.

I have read so much about NPD & BPD that I think she has both but I’m not qualified to say she has. If she did as you said and sought help, I’d be with her every step of the way and would help to see her through it all, but as she refuses to accept responsibility and is violent towards people in her house, all I can do is fight for as much time with him as possible I guess and try to be the best Dad possible to him. He’s worth any effort 🙂