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Reply To: Toxic Parents? Let it go

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#107620
Anonymous
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Dear asia288:

Yes, your parents are and have been toxic, destructive to you, hurting you repeatedly throughout the decades of your life. I am so sorry this has been the reality of your life so far.

You wrote that you want to move on: do you mean forgive and forget and continue being harmed by your parents?

You mentioned writing them a letter “so that they can see for themselves”- they will not see. You were in front of them for 28 years, yearning for their approval and love and they didn’t see it or care. When you were a child, you looked up to them with those wide, sad eyes, in that little innocent face, wanting nothing from them but their love. They didn’t see those eyes, they didn’t see that face, they didn’t see how much you loved and needed them. And so they will see nothing in a paper, a letter you give them.

Trying to get them to understand you is like trying to get water out of a rock. As hard and as long as you try, it will not happen, and that is a waste of time.

You learned to be independent in some ways, paying your own bills- use these skills and move far away from your parents and family. It is time for you to take on your life on your own.

Moving on would be moving away and leaving them behind. And then, slowly leaving behind their legacy in your brain, the false beliefs they instilled in you about who you are.

Hope to read your reply to my post to you, soon. Take care!

anita