Dear Karene:

I understand you are living with your parents. Your mother is handicapped and has been so your whole life. She used to rush you when you were a child, placing food on your plate quickly, not letting you choose the food you want to eat.

You thought you are slow because your mother rushed you. But you were not slow; she was too fast, jittery, distressed and disturbed. You think you are unattractive because this man does not try to get physical with you; but he is not able to be sexual, he is unwell.

You are making the wrong conclusions about who you are because you are basing your understanding on the behavior of people who are unhealthy, unwell.

I hope that soon enough you will get to know a person that is well enough to see you for who you are. I wish you could attend psychotherapy with a competent therapist who will help you see yourself in new ways, ways true to reality.

You are not slow: your mother was too fast. You are not unattractive: the man is not a sexual man.

anita