Dear Karene:

What your therapist said makes sense, that growing up you didn’t get feedback, what a child desperately needs: to be seen and shown. A child needs a mirror, figuratively, and an accurate mirror; to be told: you look sad, for example. So then the child says: “oh, this is “sad”

You grew up without a mirror so you never saw yourself, kind of growing in the dark. So yes, I see. So you are looking for that mirror in people. Problem is to find an accurate mirror. The mirror you are looking at when you interact with that guy is inaccurate. He does not display sexual attraction to you and you conclude you are sexually unattractive. Problem is: he displays no sexual attraction toward you because he is almost asexual because of his mental illness, not because of your lack of attraction. (Regarding the fact that he has photos of attractive women on his FB: like I wrote to you before: if they were in his room, they too, just like you, would be sleeping on the couch. He thinks they look attractive but he can’t actualize this attraction, is my understanding).

So in therapy you need an accurate mirror, like the one where you figured out the reason for your bed wetting and then, the bed wetting stopped.

You are sensitive to people’s behavior toward you because you still need that mirror that wasn’t available to you in your formative years. Please try to find an accurate mirror. The more accurate mirroring you get, the healthier you will be. If this makes sense to you, talk about it with your therapist, will you?
anita