Working on the “waking up” thing. The challenge is that my contacts collection is rather limited. Kind of like realizing that your entire outlook on things may be wrong, and you are living on a figurative island.

Kind of amazing and yet depressing to look back at things. Terrible sense of mourning. Not so much missed fiscal opportunities, but personal ones.

For about 2 decades, I have wasted lots of things with a crabby attitude, irritability, hostility, etc. Still trying to figure out why I apply the porcupine approach to just about everybody, even people I would love to have a relationship with.

I also don’t understand what triggered this what the heck is wrong with my life question, and why did it take so log to get here. Maybe stress from work, maybe it was losing somebody I truly cared for, maybe it was everything together. Would have been great if I had gotten to this point before about half my life was gone.