Hi Anita,

What you are saying sounds very correct. I vowed that I will never get a guy like my previous stepdads, add in the very damaging relationships of my friends I saw – I was a definite no: I don’t need this in my life, This is not going to be me. I’ve always also said that I will not start thinking about family until I am financially stable enough to raise a child by myself if needed.

Maybe one thing to add is that my mother did not destroy but my grandmother did – both myself and my mother. I did not care for her opinion though. Since early age I’ve been the target of female envy. My grandmother, my dad’s new wife and later on in life at work my female bosses (3 in a row!) and other female colleagues.

I have a strong personality, I know what I want and I’m not afraid to say it. I’m not the damsel in distress that a lot of men look for – on the contrary. Living with my mother has taught me a lot and I’m very grateful for her. She has expressed concern that her failed relationships have transferred to me but she is hoping that with her now husband I see that there are good men as well.

It’s funny with me – I acknowledge the issues I have: I’m very outspoken but struggle to show my emotions, I don’t open up easily to people even though to the outside I am very bubbly and friendly. But my true emotions are only known to myself in fear of being judged and being vulnerable. I’ve had to be strong since I was quite young so now Iõm struggling to show my softer side.

Elise