Dear misomojo:

I re-read much from your posts here. You wrote above: “I’m not a stranger to doing personal and spiritual growth, which I adore with all my heart and feeds me within,” “I am absolutely open to ‘looking in the mirror’ “and then you wrote:

“I shouldn’t be shocked that he’s not jumping on the band wagon to heal some of his deep seeded wounds that he’s not even aware of. It’s hard for me to sit idle and watch him be ‘stuck’, while I am ready to fly and thrive”

This is my input: healing from your childhood with a BPD mother is very difficult and there are no short cuts. There is so much pain and struggle in it, that you can “adore” it only at moments while persisting through the many tough moments with what I call excruciating patience. When you watched your husband resisting go through that pain of healing his own wounds, and sat idle, you were under the impression that you were not resisting the same thing he is resisting.

You seem to be under the impression that indeed you are “ready to fly and thrive”- as if there is not a whole lot of pain that will keep you in the …swamps on your way forward.

Sitting with your husband, watching him struggle, you didn’t realize, did you, that you are not way ahead of him, that you too are resisting, looking for the easy way…

How is this for looking in the mirror? Will you consider my input or are you resisting?

anita