Dear shadeinthesummer:

I would like to help you gain more insight into your significant anxiety for the purpose of doing what you can to heal. We are currently communicating on two threads. I will leave alone this one and continue on the other so to simplify our communication. So please write to me on the other thread.

I will close my comment on this one with this: your “subconscious motivation” – I believe- is to be safe. This is what you need and want, I strongly believe. Daydreaming is a place you go for safety, a break from the ongoing anxiety.

Something and/ or someone is threatening you at home, where you live with your father and mother. Your mother’s significant anger expressed at you is threatening and feeds your anxiety: it is bad for your mental health to live with an angry person, especially a person who is angry at you.

anita