Dear Kelsi:

There are two things that are problematic: the verbal abuse and the fact he now has power over you. The power situation is that you now have to prove to him that you are good enough for him to re-consider a relationship with you. This is not going to work out for your benefit. He has to want a relationship as much as you. He has to look into himself, his behavior and change what needs to be changed, the verbal abuse for one.

If I was you, I would stop this dynamic right away. I will communicate to him that the two of you need to want the relationship, not just you; that the two of you need to look at your behaviors and change what needs to be changed, not just you. And that is all I will communicate, leaving it at that.

Then I would expect nothing and let it be. If he contacts you, communicate with him only if he addresses his behavior and is respectful to you all the time, not just sometimes. If he doesn’t contact you, well then it is over.

anita