Dear Annie:

Congratulations for being estranged from your abusive family of origin. I agree with you whole heartedly that “Nobody is entitled to (abusing another person) in this world even if they are family.”

I support you in insisting that your boyfriend’s sister will not be in your wedding or allowed in your home, for as long as she is abusive and unless she sincerely and thorougly regrets her behavior, apologizes to you and corrects her behavior with you.

Problem is you are living with your boyfrien’s parents, who are also her parents. They should insist, the parents, that no abuse is taking place in their house. Problem is they may not see her behavior as abusive and may not protect you or your boyfriend from her.

And no, you are not wrong to feel this way. You did what a lot of people won’t- cut contact with your own parents because they were abusive of you. You didn’t do that so to be abused by anyone else. Try to patiently and gently explain this to your boyfriend, nmaybe he doesn’t understand. He is conflicted himself, emotionally confused, not objective enough to see clearly.

anita