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Reply To: Paralyzed by Guilt

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#108959
Anonymous
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Dear pixie:

I hope you do take the job then, and move without your husband to the new city, leaving him and the marriage behind, in your past. Focus on this as your goal, the un-negotiable goal. Keep it in your sight as you proceed.

Would you like to practice here, how to tell him? I will read and give you my feedback, if you’d like.

Overall, I don’t think it matters much how you say it as long as you say it, or otherwise communicate to him that the marriage is over and you are leaving.

The nicest way that I can see at this point is to communicate so respectfully, that is to not call him names, berate him, humiliate him… just state your intent assertively: this is what I need to do. I am sorry this is hurting you. My intent is not to hurt you- I whole heartedly wish there was a way for you to not be hurt. Unfortunately, I see no other way but to proceed with what I need to do. Please take care of yourself and with some time, I hope you move on and live a good life for yourself…

anita