Dear Marsh:

I am thinking you gave her power over your life, let her decide when the relationship was On and when it was Off and what kind of a relationship it would be, and what she wanted changed over time, was unpredictable, unreliable and so you were not in control and no one reliable was in control. You were like a ship in the mercy of the winds, blowing you this way and that way.

I think to “get out of (this) emotional hole”- you need to take control over your life, take the steering wheel of the ship in your own hands. And do it every day in little things. No way is too small for you to practice steering, making your way, your own choices according to your preferences, needs, values.

To make the most of life, take the steering wheel, make things happen your way.

anita