Thanks to everyone for your thoughts on my issue – we’re going to keep working on this and find a way to get that “win-win” 🙂 To his benefit, “John” is not paralyzed by indecision or passivity. In fact, he is independent, decisive, contributes to planning and is usually a good communicator so I’m still trying to understand what triggers his fear or frustration that results in these “tantrums” as Anita mentioned. Counseling would be helpful and I’m also finding resources that he can absorb privately and consider as part of self-awareness. I am grateful that he is open to understanding and improving himself, and that we can be open about improving our own selves as individuals (I’m not perfect by a longshot LOL) and also building a stronger “us”.