Dear XenopuxTex:

Back to Emotional Intelligence, your quest (and mine): when you have strong emotions but you are not clear about the information behind the emotions, you are likely to simply get foggy, like a storm is going on, a fog and you can’t see in front of you.

There are no emotions in your brain in the courthouse when you see defendant women crying, no fog. From your experience women crying= effort to manipulate. Clarity.

With this woman, emotions got triggered, the desire to-love-and-be-loved, you were drawn to her. These emotions lead to fog, a storm of sorts, lack of clarity.

If you understood the information behind your attraction, draw to this woman, there wouldn’t be fog. Let’s say you understood the following information behind your emotions:

1. I like the way she looks, the way she dresses, the way she physically presents herself.
2. I am thinking she physically presents this way to me because she is interested in me. I very much like the idea of a woman interested in me, especially since I think I look like a geek. When a “hot woman” shows physical interest in me, that definitely gets my attention.
3. I like intelligent/ professional woman. I find it attractive.

If you thought these things, then you’d be aware of what about a woman’s physical appearance attracts you (#1, the ..easy one). You would then investigate whether she presents herself physically this way to other men and to other women so to see if the presentation is a message to you, personally (#2) and then you will continue to learn that intelligence and a professional position is far from indicating wisdom/ emotional intelligence (#3)

anita