Dear Shanola:

Too bad you are questioning your self worth as a result of what happened. I agree, it seems like she was trying to break up with you, only she wanted you to take that initiative. It makes me think she has trouble taking initiatives, making choices, being assertive and so she feels more comfortable pretending you made the choice. This way she doesn’t have to worry about making the wrong choice. But it is all pretending for her, because she did make the choice herself.

Her thinking, her difficulty with making choices and being assertive is HER thing, and is not an indication of your worth. This behavior on her part would be the same no matter who you were.

As far as your functioning in this relationship, if you want to examine it more so to make the next relationship better for you, let me know. If you would like to do the latter, will you explain to me what you meant in your original post when you wrote: ” I said I did want a relationship and she said she don’t know what she wanted. I could’ve asked more questions but I didn’t because I knew it’d hurt her more than me.”?

anita