When we broke up I told her what I wanted, That I didn’t want to be heartbroken or feel played, I wanted a relationship with her, something that we could work on and not just give up on. She told me she didn’t know what she wanted anymore and thats when I knew it was nothing I could do to change what just happen, she was leaving and I couldn’t even say anything to get her to stay with me. I didn’t want to ask her anything else about the kiss or the guy because I knew she would just cry more and later I would analyze everything she said he did or she did. I would torture myself slowly asking anything like that.

I called her last night and she didn’t answer or text back and my heart still hurts like I gave her everything I could and it wasn’t enough, I don’t know what to do with myself because everything comes back to her. I’m playing a game to get my mind off of it and I see a truck that has a nickname I used to call her on it, I’m talking to friends and I say something very similar to how she would say it. I’m moving to a new city for school and all I can think about is how shes gonna be an hour away from me, How I can’t help but try to see her to talk things out but if she won’t even answer me then whats the point of even moving, I mean besides me. I don’t feel like I’m going to have fun, I don’t feel like I want to go anymore, People keep telling me that theirs more fish in the sea, that you never know what’ll happen when you meet new people but I only wanted one person to be there and now no one is. I left a message and I wanted to be strong but I was just nervous and I’m starting to feel like I’m going crazy.