Dear shanola:

I lived in New Orleans for less than a year, that was way before the hurricane. I read about a lot of people relocating to Texas among other places, and my goodness, you were one of them!

The problem is in your chaotic family life. You “don’t blame anyone for (you) being sad” but I do. I simply stick to reality: there is no doubt in my mind that the war-zone at home affected you greatly. It would affect anyone in your place, not possible to be otherwise. So yes, of course, I blame the adults in the home of your childhood, particularly your parents who were morally and legally responsible for your physical and mental well being. They acted against your well being, making you sick. So, yes, I do blame them and I think you should too.

Healing is not possible if we don’t hold the people responsible- accountable for their actions. If you don’t – you mistakenly hold yourself responsible.

Like I wrote earlier, I think you tried real hard with your most recent ex to avoid any conflict, and no wonders, having suffered so much conflict as a child between all the adults in your home/ family.

Did you attend psychotherapy? Is it possible for you to do so?

If you’d like, think more about this and write about what you think about my post here. I need to take a break and will be back to the computer in hours from now to re-read your posts and maybe a new one you will write. Till then, be kind to yourself, someone needs to be!

anita