Icy,

I sincerely send you all the good vibes, and I hope your husband can make the transfer to his second job and you’ll have more time together. Many relationships go through hardship till they gain financial freedom. I hope in the long run this will make you stronger… As long as this dynamic lifestyle doesn’t affect his health (that’s the one red flag not to be ignored).

And I felt the same way you do when it comes to cutting the medications. While I was taking them for some time… after a month, I also thought I am fine now… It’s just a small dose , I can do without it. So I made the first big cut, I wanted to reduce round 40% at once… and ta-dam.. I literally went crazy. Couldn’t sleep for days, and even my own thoughts scared me. And I am not even close to bipolar, prior to this year I have never even had anxiety in a form of disorder (I am in my early 30’s). It’s not a conspiracy theory, it’s just the pills take over some functions of your brain, when it comes to producing the ‘happy’ chemicals. When you cut the pills, the production of the ‘happy’ hormones is cut too, and you need some time till you stabilize again.

I wouldn’t wanna bother you further, I just wanted to say that me, as many people out there, fell in the vicious cycle of medication, and felt the way you do. You are not alone, maybe while your husband is busy you can use this time to reflect on yourself,to discover what triggers your bad mood (think when it started first!), and to seek for solutions how to bypass the bad reaction. Of course, none of us here are doctors and we can just offer our open hearts and willingness to help, 🙂 But at least, it can’t hurt to seek for ways how to ‘produce’ more happy hormones (serotonin,endorphin, oxytocin,dopamine) the natural way 🙂 Socializing, workout, learning new things, spending time in nature are some of the many…