Dear XenopusTex:

I am thrilled! Good job with the empathy, keep at it. Do a lot of listening and from time to time repeat what she tells you in your own words or in a question form, something like: “So what you are saying is…

Show her that you are following what she is saying, ask when you are not clear, ask questions gently like someone who is trying to understand her thoughts, her feelings, her motivations.

This is way better than giving advice- if she doesn’t ask for advice, better not give any as a rule.

The way to her heart is through showing her that you understand her, that you heard her and you get her.

I am excited about the prospect of you having a dinner date with her. Let me know of new developments, I want this to work out.

anita