Hi LiquidSnake,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read everything and responding. I really appreciate it 🙂

I will definitely take your advice for point one if he contacts me again. Like you said, there are two benefits.

As for point two, I also agree with you. I’ve put my foot down so many times yet so many times I have been so weak and let him talk me out of it. I allowed him to treat me like this and that is why I’m also so mad at myself. I’ve always told myself from a young age that I am a strong woman and that I will never tolerate anything like this. I wanted to leave him after the first month but because we were living and working in the same place, I was afraid of the consequences. Every time I have told him to not talk to me in a certain way or to calm down, he turns it around and puts it all on me.

Which leads me onto the third point. Up until the last four or five months, I have managed (or at least tried) to be firm with him by not losing myself and staying calm. From about four or five months ago, I don’t think my response has been the best. Each time he blew up at me, I would raise my voice back at him. I was reaching my limit. It wasn’t a good response because he always used it against me. In hindsight, I should’ve just walked away. To be honest, I feel like I was becoming him. I felt like I wanted him to understand how he was treating me. For example, he did not like me talking to other men or my male friends. He has two females friends which he often goes to their place until late at night to drink and chit chat. I know they are just friends and I have nothing to be worried about. However, because he was always suspicious about men I came into contact with, I decided to do the same with him. It didn’t work. Instead he just used it against me.

As for showing him love, I was always the one initiating kissing and cuddles (and even sex). Often I would kiss him or cuddle him and it would go unreturned. He said it was because he couldn’t kiss or cuddle someone he argued with. But I thought I was at least trying to make things better. To be honest, I got the impression that he was just more interested in being on his computer. I also got the impression early on in the relationship that he just wanted a relationship asap without having to work for it. Once he got me that was it. He told me once that he ex-girlfriends (who all left him) complained he was ‘absent’ from the relationship.

Thank you very much for your supportive insight, LiquidSnake!! I’m already feeling better from posting on here. I just have to stay strong. I only just discovered this website and I think it’s great that people can post on here and help each other.