Dear Aballa:

I like how you answered each and every person who replied to you with attentiveness, appreciation, empathy and grace. This tells me a lot about who you are, way more than the topic of your thread by itself.

I do see a logical explanation to his behavior, only I agree it is not your job to see it, to solve his problems- you can’t even if you dedicated your life to doing so. Your only job with a person like this is to not have him in your life.

The logical explanation is that he deflects the prospect of looking and examining his own thoughts, feelings and behaviors by pointing the finger at you and blaming you for anything that goes wrong in his mind and life.

This is a common strategy that people use and so, it is not at all unique to him, and for me it is not illogical or hard to understand.

anita