Dear hangdo

You wrote: ” Why i am always in passive situation…i am a fool…” and I agree with the following, from my personal experience with being passive: it is foolish, unwise, to be passive. It really is. To be passive in life, whatever area of life, is indeed, foolish. The way to live is being active, exerting reasonable power over your life.

To depend on others, on their initiative, their feelings, their thoughts, their.. their this or that, is a foolish way to live.

You wrote: “why i cannot control my emotions, why i am thinking too much, why i am so sensitive….i am so afraid..” The wise way to live is to learn what your emotions have to teach you, that indeed you are afraid. Figure out what you are afraid of, to start.

You wrote: ” being hurt so many times but i cannot learn a lesson. Why i am always in passive situation…i do not know how to love someone in a right way.” I would say that the right way to love someone, the right way to live is the active way, to make things happen your way best you can instead of waiting for things to happen your way, hoping and waiting and dreaming.

So, with this guy, email him, tell him and ask him. I suggest you write some email here on your thread and I will give you my suggestions about how to deliver to him your feelings in an honest, direct way that is respectful to yourself, not desperate. And how to ask him about his feelings and thoughts in a way that will maximize your chances of getting an honest reply. With true information, you can proceed with some understanding and way less confusion and wishful thinking.

anita