Dear hangdo:

Before reading your last post it occurred to me, about this dating site where you met this guy (and the Irish guy as well?)

It doesn’t make sense for you (and other girls in Vietnam/ other countries in Asia) to start “dating” men from the West who come to Vietnam for a short vacation or a business trip. Not dating in the sense of starting a relationship, because the men will go back to their country. The ‘dating” this is about then, for men coming for a short vacation or a business trip is about having fun WHILE THERE.

So, please be clear about what dating means for you. If you want a long term relationship, beyond the short vacation/ business trip, then this site is not for you.

There are websites, so I understand (?) where men from the West are looking for women from other countries for marriage. This is risky of course, but at least here is a chance for a fit between what you are expecting (a long term relationship) and what is advertised (marriage).

If you meet another man on vacation/ business trip through this “dating” site or in any other way, please do not become physically intimate with him.

There is always the chance for a man to fall in love with the woman in the exotic country, the stuff movies are made of. But in reality, you can go through years of being with man after man, waiting for the Happily-ever-after ending and … you end up old and humiliated.

In regard to this man, the fact that he referred to his girlfriend (who lives with him) as an “ex’- that is deceiving. In this case he is not the decent man I was hoping he is. Also, any references he made in his profile and in communications with you to a long term relationship were probably deceitful.

If this is the case, I would edit your email to him this way:

” I thought if it possible we just give us a chance until you said you have a girlfriend and that you do love her. I would love to tell you that no matter what happen I always wish you to be happy with your choice. But i wonder why did you call her your ex when we met up?

Why did you call her your ex when we met up?”

This is it. I would ask him this question. If he told you other misleading things before and while he was in Vietnam, suggesting there could be a relationship between the two of you, ask him why he said those things while he had a girlfriend AND while he held the position that a long distance relationship is not a possibility for him. Ask him. Will be back at the computer in a couple of hours or so.

anita