I’ve had these same fears. They can be very intense. (I’m 31, ended a relationship with someone I loved deeply a year ago).

The number of dates leads me to believe you’re frantic. And that frantic energy is going to repel what you do want, and attract what you don’t. If you’ve not looked into the law of attachment, you might look it up. (Or Universal Laws in general). The harder you try and cling, the harder you push, the farther you’re getting from what you really need to be looking at. And that seems to be yourself. What void are you trying to fill with these men and these dates? My guess is that you need the validation of a relationship…for what purpose? To prove to yourself and others that you’re loveable? That you’re worthy of love?

Relax. Look into these things. Serial dating is not going to get you what you want. But finding fulfillment without someone first, with self-love as a foundation, will bring in someone that can COMPLEMENT your life…not be the thing that makes you feel complete and whole. Be whole and complete on your own…and the rest will fall into place, and your value, worth, and love will not be dependent on an outside source.

Let’s say you did find someone, and you felt whole and complete (finally! Yay!). But then things didn’t work out. Would your sense of wholeness and completeness leave with the boyfriend? Probably. Would you end up feeling the same way you do now? Probably. Back at square one.

That is why you need to start with yourself, and look at your behaviors and figure them out.

Good luck!