Anita, I guess by weak ego I mean I tend to give in to certain unhealthy habits that I know aren’t good for me but give me that instant satisfaction, like an indulgence. Inferiority complex plays into that, that I am not good enough to do more, to go after more. And then those thoughts go round and round in my head after that, and I’m almost hard on myself to the point where I don’t trust myself (paranoia). Hopefully that makes sense?

I know what you mean about there needing to be growth there. I listened to a really good podcast that compared self awareness to self growth. Just because you are aware of your problems doesn’t mean you have completely healed and moved on from them, self awareness is the just the first step. Patience is something that I struggle with (hence the various indulgences, whether that be emotional indulgence of feeling sorry for myself or even food to temporarily make me feel a bit better). I think Im just tired of feeling this way so each day I’m ready to just be better.

I have tried therapy once before!! But I didn’t really connect with her. And it was expensive so I just kind of stopped going. I find i’m not as good with my words as I am on paper. I’ve almost found it more therapeutic to let it spill over the internet to just let it out. However I am almost stuck at the growth phase where daily there is just an empty pit at the bottom of stomach, like somethings missing. It’s really hard to ignore sometimes which gets me kind of bummed and then I almost feel agitated.