Anita. I had to do a little research on LOC. I think part of my LOC is ELOC because of how I was brought up in church (I hope this makes sense). And I’m not saying that I can’t make my own decisions. It’s kind of like if something good or bad happens, then I believe that it’s part of God’s plan. So, in that regard, I tend to feel like if I go for something I want and it doesn’t happen, then I feel like “well God didn’t want me to have it, He must have something better for me”. So right now I feel like “well I probably need to learn something from working here and once I learn it I’ll be ready for the job that God wants me to have”.
But in regards to my mom and those people at church, I have a problem with worrying about what others think. That’s part of why I have anxiety. It was because I had so much pressure on me from other people (or I thought so and I was putting pressure on myself to just be this best teacher). I thought that if I quit the job, I’d be considered a failure and that if I pursued what I really wanted to pursue, they’d think I was crazy and I’d be disappointing a lot of people.