I too expressed a disdain for people, that she seems to. Lived many years as a bitter person, ready to either lash out at people or just withdraw completely. I buried myself in diversions from dealing with people, much like she has with that house. To be honest, life sucked, and I would not wish that on anyone, having been through it.

She feels targeted by people at work, and doesn’t like being there, indicating that she basically has to play a pretend game of liking being there. She told me that she has not been able to find a job with the same pay/benefits.

She seems to walk around with a facial expression that is strained, not a smile and not really a frown, sort of between.

Yes, I do feel a tension between the part of me that cheers about bad things happening to people who hurt me, and the newly discovered side of me that was l only noticed with this relationship of thinking about the effects on her. This new side doesn’t seem to make sense. Usually, I just kind of smile to myself when somebody who screwed me gets smacked around by life.