Dear mariajohanna:

I didn’t experience a family member committing suicide. I experienced a mother repeatedly threatening to commit suicide (but not), and I experienced wanting to commit suicide myself, even coming at one point to a peace of mind about doing so (but obviously, did not).

I am sorry that you are suffering the consequences of your brother committing suicide. One reason, I think, that I didn’t go through with my wanting to do this is that I didn’t want to hurt the one or two people that will be hurt as a result of it. The reason I wanted to do it was to stop my own pain, my own distress and anguish.

Regarding how to cope with feeling that no one truly can understand what you are going through- you can share more about what you are going through right here on this thread and I will read your sharing attentively and respond thoughtfully. Then there will be someone, one person at the least, who will truly understand what you are going through.

And then, there will be more people, in person, in your life, who will understand.

anita