Dear Ravi:

You are overly dramatic, I believe. Overly because it has no moral value. I will explain: it seems like you think that your suffering is penance. As if your pain benefits Jerry or the situation. As if carving your arm and drawing blood is an act of virtue on your part. No, it is not. Your pain is not virtue. It doesn’t help you, Jerry, or the situation. So stop with those histrionics. In your past communications with Jerry, you seem to be saying: Look how hurt I am! This makes me Right. My pain makes me the victim, so it is YOUR job to make it right, you are responsible!

Got to stop this, Ravi. This is not Love. Histrionics is not love.

“No matter how wild or unimaginable, I’ll do it for her”- here are the histrionics. It needs not be “wild or unimaginable,” like fighting dragons or climbing a steep mountain- it doesn’t need to be Tintin-flashy. It needs to be Loving of Jerry.

So what would be loving on your part? If you love Jerry, you don’t hurt her. If you love Jerry, you think of her well being. So you think to yourself: what is best for Jerry? What is jerry’s motivations, what does she need… what is the causes of her distress, and how can I help?

You look at things from her point of view, not only from your own. So, take it from here. Respond to what I wrote and answer these questions in the paragraph above.

anita