Dear idontknow210:

You are suffering the loss of that “absolute comfort and ‘home’” you had with him, when you did. That comfort, home-feeling is what a baby feels in the arms of the mother, home. It is attachment, the comfort in attachment. No feeling compares to it.

Unfortunately he clearly stated that his relationship with you operates, somehow, against his well being, increasing his anxiety. And so, you have to respect the ending of it.

Will it help you to write about the nature of your attachment to him, how it feels… and will it help you, I wonder, to write about the history of your attachment, that is, the attachment you had to your parents, any one of them or both. I imagine your trust issues that you mention have something to do with an attachment to a parent that didn’t go well…?

anita