Dear Carly:

You want to say a lot to him but you already did, in that long email, didn’t you? The more you talk the less he talks and what he says is important.

What you want is more than one phone conversation. So listen to what he says, don’t rush, pay attention to everything he says. If he says something vague and you don’t understand what he meant by it, ask him.

You can prepare 1-3 questions ahead of time but ask them only if there is long enough silence in the call, a long break when no one talks.

So the call starts, he says hi, you say hi. Then wait for a moment. Don’t rush with your thoughts and feelings, let there be breaks in the conversation.

Be as calm as you can be (a hot bath before the call? A swim?) before the call.

Prepare yourself before the call to the possibility that he is not at all interested in a relationship with you. Prepare yourself to all possibilities- write them down and meditate on them, so that you are prepared before the call. Try to accept each possibility and come to some peace over it.

I wonder how you will be able to listen to him if you are distressed during the call, and- if you choose to share what he says here so to get feedback from me- how will you be able to remember what he said?

anita