Dear Anita and Aislynn,

Thanks again for your responses and perspectives. Its a bit late for me so this will be quick (well, quick for me…ha ha).

A handful of short conversations since Friday when hubby came home. He is working out of home for a week. He doesn’t want to move, it is difficult to think about right now. The job keeps him super busy, other departments needing 10 different pieces of information yesterday….y’know how that goes. I will say that since he’s been home, I noticed today that he didn’t have dark circles under his eyes. So he’s getting a lot of rest and relaxation with us, coupled with family time/playtime with the kiddos. PLUS good nutrition because its hard to have that when you live out of a hotel room.

I know he doesn’t want to move the kids and I. I completely understand why he’s torn on the matter as well. I agree with Anita that it will take a few conversations not just one big one.

Meanwhile, I’ve been doing some meditation the past couple of days and today felt TONS of motivation. Thus, the kids and I have begun unpacking ALL the boxes that we usually never touch. We’ll go through them and do whatever needs to be done whether its repacking some items and donating others. The clutter doesn’t help matters so we’ll get rid of the clutter….before school starts!

I’ve also re-thought my response of “If we’re here”. You’re right, Aislynn, it is exhausting. So on some things it’ll be a “Sure!” and some things will have to be “We’ll see….” Either way, it really doesn’t matter where we live because the things they want to do have the activities available. i.e.: Can I take dance lessons? You bet! –they have them in both places.

I put up workout and motivational posters in my ‘workout’ room and unpacked those boxes. Trying to find the other pictures and figure out how I’ll arrange the “family wall” of photos. I think the way I was looking at it all, the focus needed to be shifted. Will I have to take those pictures down and move again? Maybe. But this is OUR HOME now. And its up to me to make it feel like a home.

The owner of the house, prior to us, was a Master Gardener. And did she ever plan this out! There are so many bees buzzing around the flowers and flowers bloom from early Spring into Fall. Tonight, I walked around outside, barefoot, looking at all the flowers. Smelling some of them. Rubbing my fingers on the lavender blooms. The neighbor’s cat came over and found the perfect place to roll. Every person that drove by, smiled and waved. The kids were out there with me, playing with the neighbor’s cat (no worries there because we have a house-full of our own furry children). It wasn’t a picture of complete peace…tranquility with lots of giggles. Thinking about that now, I can’t spend my energy worrying about what might happen. And that’s where all this resentment really comes from. Yes, its about hubby’s job but its also about worrying what I can’t control. So I need to practice being present. Live each day to its fullest. We’ll have our little conversations and I know the kids and I are here until the end of 2016/2017 school year. We’ll see what those conversations open to us.