adriannalc, Katie, and anita: Thank you all for your responses! A few thoughts: Katie said, “…but it could be he is just not as emotionally connected as you need. Do you think you will remain interested in him?” My answer is no. I’m not comfortable staying in a relationship where there is a one-sided effort to create and maintain an emotional connection.

anita said, “Maybe the pattern we mentioned in other threads is that you take yourself out of the equation of the relationship, as if you are a neutral party to it, not one to choose or judge. It is all up to him- he makes the rules, you neutrally wait for him.” This is so spot-on. I was nodding my head while reading that statement. I think I also make new relationships too much of a priority and I stop doing things I enjoy (examples: yoga, painting, writing, cooking, trying new classes).

Have things changed since I posted a couple of days ago? No. He actually was out of the state on Sunday at a music festival (he purchased his ticket before we met). He didn’t contact me at all that day. Then early the next morning he had to go to the ER due to an issue with his left lung (this is the third time this has happened, it’s a condition he has managed for over a decade). He did text me to me let know that he was in the hospital, his friend was there, his family was coming, and he was having surgery tomorrow (aka today).

I obviously told him I was sorry to hear that the issue with his lung reoccurred and told him if there was anything he needed I was there for him. He didn’t really text me again. Last night before I went to bed I texted, “I’m going to get ready for bed soon, everything will go well tomorrow! Keep me updated after you’ve had time to rest after surgery, Good night”

His response, “Thanks. And good night.”

This is an opportunity to welcome my support as someone he is dating and it’s clear to me that he isn’t interested in communicating any more than he has to (this was even days before the lung occurrence). There does come a point where you can’t force someone to want to talk to you, be emotionally intimate with you, etc…

I’m going to hold off on initiating contact because I honestly don’t think he wants to hear from me right now. He’s obviously going through a difficult time with his lung, so I’m going to just let things be, let him rest, and be there if he needs me (which I highly doubt he will reach out to me for anything since he doesn’t seem interested in even making small talk at the moment…).

Once he’s home, settled, and on the mend (like has had many days to recover), I don’t think I’m going to stay with him. I’m not currently interested in attending the weddings with him anymore because it’s clear that he’s indifferent toward me. It hurts, but I do feel I tried my best to do what I knew at the time. He just lost interest as the weeks went on.